Was It Worth It?

A raw, unflinching memoir of unbreakable love and shattering heartbreak, Was It Worth It? plunges readers into one mother’s decades-long battle to save her daughter from the storm of borderline personality disorder (BPD).

From toddler tantrums that felt like warnings to middle-school lies that shredded reputations, from high-school impulsivity and risky behaviors to the drug-fueled years of vanishings, pawned heirlooms, emergency rooms, and a stolen engagement ring — Janelle chronicles the chaos with brutal honesty and dark humor. She exposes the betrayal trauma layered on top: a coparent’s enabling “rescues,” a grandmother’s weaponized secrets, family members who believed the villain narratives, and the soul-deep shame that society reserves for mothers when a child struggles.

Yet amid the wreckage — multiple rehabs, therapeutic boarding schools, no-contact necessity; a granddaughter placed beyond reach — this is not a story of defeat. It’s a testament to stubborn, ferocious love that refuses to quit even when hope gets pawned alongside everything else.

Was it worth it? The pain screams no. The love whispers yes. And love — battered, exhausted, but unkillable — still has the final word.